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Backhand compliments Saturday July 29
At a team meeting on Friday, we were discussing a candidate we met Wednesday evening. My coworker and I conducted the interview, and not only are his qualifications good, but he is a nice guy.
While speaking good Japanese is not a prerequisite for working and living in Japan (and not teaching English), it certainly makes a big difference that makes a lot of things a lot easier. We always mention in our meetings what level of Japanese the foreign candidates speak; I brought up that we tested this candidate in the interview, and I thought he was quite capable. At the very least, I would say "business" Japanese, if not advanced.
My coworker (who is non-native Japanese, but fluent) added: "He's advanced-level. He's better than Mark,"
She said this totally deadpan, because she was absolutely serious, and then the conversation moved on.
Now, I know that I am by no means fluent in Japanese. There are still plenty of words I don't know, there are still plenty of times that I screw things up. However, to be reminded of that was a little bit rough. But at the same time -- to say that this guy is better than me, and at an advanced level -- that in and of itself is one kind of compliment.
I wrote on my resume when I applied for this job "Advanced spoken Japanese". Since starting this position, though, I have realized that I had been judging myself relative a "smaller pond", and when I compare myself to ex-pats who have been living in Japan for five years, I am by no means "advanced". I am about business-level, I think.
This is what it's all about: just when you think you've gotten good at something, it doesn't mean that. It just means you've outgrown the pond you were swimming in.
When someone calls you Saturday July 22
Foremost, this post succeeds the one before it (regarding calling people at home), so it might not make sense otherwise.
Friday at work, I was minding my own business, sitting at my desk, and my phone rang.
"Hello, this is Mark, how may I help you?" I began in English.
"Hello, I am the friend of the woman that someone at this number called yesterday," the caller said, in Japanese.
At first, I had no idea what she was talking about. Wrong number? Okay, so if I called yesterday, why didn't that woman call me back directly?
"I'm sorry, who is this again?"
"I am a friend of the wife of Tanaka*, the woman who you called yesterday. Tanaka's wife can't speak Japanese nor English, so she had me call you to find out what you called asking for Tanaka for."
Not this again.
"I called to touch base with Tanaka since it had been awhile since anyone from my company had contacted him, but when I didn't successfully reach his mobile, I attempted to call his home number that we have on file," I explained, thinking this call would soon be over.
"Do you know where he is?" she shot back.
"Uhm? No, that's actually why I was calling. I'd like to talk to him."
"We're looking for him too," she ventured. "Do you have his e-mail address?"
"Yes, and I've sent him e-mail as well, but have yet to receive a response."
"Which e-mail address are you using, the Yahoo! one?"
"Actually, no, I don't have that one."
"Yes, I think that one is quite old, that's the one we have. Can you tell me the one you have?" she insists, bordering between pushy and desperate.
"I would like to give it to you, on a personal level, but please understand that for privacy reasons I cannot discuss private information with anyone other than the individual. What I can tell you is that we have not spoken to him for awhile either -- this is why I called his wife yesterday -- and you probably have a better idea of where he is than I do," I say, trying to close the deal and get off of the phone.
However, the conversation continued. She would not let me off the phone, trying to get more detail about his whereabouts, and also asking me what she should tell his wife I was calling about, because apparently it was upsetting to her to have me call randomly asking for her husband (since she didn't understand fully what I was saying, not speaking Japanese or English).
I finally got off the phone after twelve minutes, and everyone on the desk looks at me.
"Were you just talking to Tanaka?"
"No, I was talking to his wife's friend who speaks Japanese. Why?"
"You were on the phone for like, ten minutes! We were thinking, 'why else would he be talking for so long if he wasn't talking to the actual guy?'"
"Oh, let me tell you," I start, and retell the story.
Funny enough, one of the guys on my team knows that guy from a couple of years ago, and knows of his wife. Apparently, she's a slavedriver. No wonder he ran off with no trace.
When you call someone Thursday July 20
For my job, I often touch base with people who we have previously worked with in the past. Unfortunately, sometimes "the past" means over a year and a half ago, and people change their mobile numbers, e-mail addresses, and so on without telling us. It's not like they are trying to shirk us; it's simply that who remembers to notify every person they've ever given their phone number to to let them know it has changed? Right.
When I call someone's home, of course, I'm not just bound to speak to the person I'm trying to reach, I might also talk to their wife, their husband, parent, child, what have you. In a lot of cases, a spouse may simply tell me, "oh, he/she is not home from work yet," in which case, I indicate that I'd like to reach them on their mobile, and demonstrate that I know the old number in an effort to build rapport so they provide me with the new one.
Today, however, when I made such calls, I got quite different responses than what I was expecting.
"May I speak with so-and-so-san?"
"He hasn't come home."
"Oh, I see. Well, I have his mobile number, but it says it's out of service. Do you happen to know his new number? His old one that I have is 070..."
"I don't have the new one either. Like I said, he hasn't come home," she said, sounding crushed at remembering the reality.
"Oh........Ah, thank you, excuse me."
*click*
And this happened twice, in sequence, with a slightly different dialogue. Apparently Thursday is deadbeat Dad day in Japan.
My coworker, who is Japanese, reacted to me reacting to this. "It's normal, you know, guys around 34-40 or so just not coming home. I did that too, actually...(three second pause) of course, that's also the reason I'm divorced."
Right. Moral of the story? When you call someone, never forget that you can't see what they are in the middle of. This is actually why I don't like the phone outside of work, despite its beautiful immediacy.
Save money in a land of consumption Monday July 10
Cities, particularly this one, are all about trying to create convenience in a world of chaotic inconvenience. Everyone's busy all the time, going here, going there, trying to not be late for this, trying to make it in time to catch that. Supporting that lifestyle are a variety of service industries; most notably, the food and beverage industry. Why slave over a stove after getting home from work when you can buy food that someone else slaved to make? This is progress in human civilization, right?
Not necessarily. Depending on what you're spending your hard-earned cash on, you might just be wasting a lot of it. Since we're talking about Japan here, let's dive right into the details.
- The vending machine is your friend when you are trapped in the middle of a rice field in the middle of the countryside with no place in sight to quench your thirst (such vending machines do exist, naturally), but otherwise, they're just a waste of money. You pay either 120 yen or 150 yen for the convenience of having that drink right there, right then, but not only are you generating trash, you're also drinking excess calories outside of mealtime. Save the money. Get a tiny thermos, and put your favorite beverage (tea?) in it before you leave the house. Then, if you're carrying it with you, even if there's no vending machine, or it's out of order, you've still got your nice hot or cold beverage of choice. Am I being too penny pinching? Possibly, but 150 yen a day for a month is 4,500 yen, and that's enough alone to pay all of my utility bills save telephone.
- Convenience store food is much better in Japan than it is Stateside, but it's usually not worth the price. If it's lunchtime, do one of two things: pack a lunch ahead of time, or go to a supermarket and get something from the deli there. It's bound to be healthier and cheaper. At night, bonus points if you walk past a supermarket on your way home like I do, and then you get your deli items at 50% before the store closes.
- While we're on food, let's not forget cooking rice at home and making onigiri. Onigiri, when coupled with the thermos, will save you probably 10,000 yen over the course of a few months. Not to mention it's healthier, and you can put what you like in it. I'd like to add: some girls at work today were impressed that I made my own lunch. It was a real simple salmon-and-rice deal; it took me 5 minutes to prepare, but that goes a long way in making impressions. Impressions are good things to leave when you just started a new job.
- Do not ride the local bus if you can help it. It never goes very far very fast, and really is way too expensive for what it's worth. Buy a bicycle, you'll pay the cost back in no time, and you'll have a bicycle. That way, you don't need to buy a gym membership either. If you bike everywhere, you just lose weight that way. It's also, depending on the distance, comparable in time spent. All last school year I was faster going 10 kilometers on bike than I was riding the subway the same distance.
- Cut back on alcohol use. Beer is more expensive in Japan, and maybe right it should be. It's quite tasty. Somewhere along the way, we Americans have forgotten what taste is and focused solely on these cheap, awful brews that we call "beer". But, at 450 yen a pop at the local bar, let's remember that we're not at college anymore on buck-a-beer Monday nights. Order one, or two, and just really enjoy it. You'll also live healthier that way.
- Host parties. You want to see your friends, but you don't want to spend 3,000 on food and drink? Simple, just host a party, and invite all your friends. Buy a bunch of groceries ahead of time and split the cost among all of the attendees. You do the cleaning, but they pay for everything. Sounds like a good deal to me, and actually, for them too.
Just a few tips regarding food and drink. I've got a lot more where these came from, so if you're thinking about moving to Yokohama or Tokyo any time soon, I'd get a little handier in the kitchen first, unless you're going to making enough money to not worry about these sorts of things.
Do yourself a favor and keep your trap shut Tuesday July 4
As a reasonably new employee at my job, I've heard a lot of things.
Someone wants to tell you how it was back in the day. Someone wants to tell you how someone else is a touch nuts, but you didn't hear it from them, and yet another someone wants to give you the "real" advice on how to succeed in this workplace. In short, you're the new guy, and compared to you, everyone's seasoned. They want to share their advice with you, the poor new guy.
That's mostly altruistic, but the fundamental problem here is the issue of subjectivity. No one in your workplace should be able to tell you anything about anyone else that works there; they lack the objectivity necessary to do so.
What I mean is that workplaces, no matter how team-oriented or open, still contain hidden partitions. These factions are not always chosen; sometimes they are naturally occurring consequences (different department, different boss, et al), but the point here is that all information in a company is not simultaneously known to everyone. There are many reasons for that, and that far exceeds the scope of this point. Of course, in the most obvious example, if you are reprimanded for misusing company resources, do you really want the entire staff to know the details? Shouldn't that be between you and your superior only, as not to disrupt the workplace environment?
Of course, information about one's work itself is usually public. But, counterintuitively, since people may not be like-minded or even apt to get along, there is often an inherent attitude to keep work at work, and everything else (social matters) away from work, lest it interfere. This is a good policy, but humans are not robots. We are social creatures, and thus we find it difficult to be this objective regarding our workplaces. Someone just really wants to say something about someone else. It doesn't matter if it is good, it doesn't matter if it is bad. We are social beings; it occurs naturally.
But we have to try. We must realize that any judgement we make about anyone else we work with is likely to be subjective -- based only on the information we do have. Precisely because it is a company environment, it is probably not the full picture.
Even if you're the oldest person in the company, or the newest kid on the block, you should do yourself a favor: if it's not something relating to yourself or your work, you should probably keep your trap shut. Twice already I've said things that I wish I hadn't. I haven't necessarily done anything wrong, or hurt anyone's feelings, I was just simply regurgitating information I had heard, and it turned out to be incorrect.
Who was it that said that it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt?
