The Only Constant is Change
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The Only Constant is Change Sunday May 14
I don't remember where I first heard that expression, or when I first truly took it to heart, rather than laughing it off as a clever contradiction in terms. In college, there were times where I smiled, knowing a circumstance was not going to persist, but cognizant of my enjoyment in that instant.
When I left home, Dad was in the process of moving houses. Mom was thinking about it.
The house I grew up in belongs to someone else now. Chance passed on in the New Year. Mom just called this morning to let me know that Otto's been very sick.
Despite all of the changes that have accompanied my life in the past few years, the physical presence of my "home" in Roscoe has remained. Chance and Otto have remained, and those symbols together have been a key fabric in granting continuity to otherwise ever-changing circumstances. I don't know what's going to happen with Otto, but the point remains the same either way: in just ten months all but one of those symbols have disappeared from my life, and I hold their memories alone.
I guess the "training wheels" have fallen off, but I'm still riding.
Someone saw a picture of me the other day from last year and said I looked a lot younger. I suggested that it was just that I weighed more, so I had a rounder face. To an extent, that was probably just an excuse. I probably have aged a little. It's amazing how the body does that amid your circumstances.
I have just settled in my program here, but what the director said to us on the first day was that ten months would feel very, very short by the end. He was absolutely right, and at that moment, I knew it. I've enjoyed just about every bit of it. I think I've finally starting to learn to really live in the moment; planning for the future, remembering the past, but keeping track of the fact that the only true world is the one that's existing right now.
I can't decide if that's one of life's most beautiful designs, or one of its most bitter realities. Nate has a great quote on that about accepting things gracefully. I just added it to my 43 things.
