new year's day

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new year's day Saturday January 1

'tis 2005, or the beginning of the second half of the decade. certainly, i remember 1990, but for some reason it feels like i should have a stronger grasp on this decade than the last.

and then it occurs to me that, simply, the farther i get from these memories, the more faded they become, and that the memory of me typing this, listening to cake, on the first of the year 2005 will fade, too, to nothing more than something i can pretend to remember when i re-read this years from now.

in a way sometimes i feel cheated by memories and life, because you spend all your time experiencing all of these things, and then you can't even narrate them later. i think that's why i tell stories, because if i didn't, then i'd slowly even forget the events that were so memorable that they required a story.

then i have to argue, what's the point of having memories anyway, then? if my brain is subconsciously making links and connections of learning based on my experiences, then does it matter if i remember them consciously later? or rather, that my brain has already been loaded with whatever learning it could garner from that experience?

okay, this post is getting ridiculous.

2005 is a good turning point, i think. done with school, time for a new chapter.