november
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november Wednesday December 8
i've got strong empirical support now to theorize that november is usually rough, and that december is a good rebound. very progressive months they are; at least, they have been for the past four years.
november 2001: i was all in love with that angela girl, and despite how much we spent time together and had a good time, i was just too young for her and we were going in different directions. these things come to me as obvious now, but that november i was beating myself up over it. didn't know any better. that very december, i decided to forget about it and met heather.
november 2002: i was all in love with the idea of liking esther, because i thought that somehow that would make my life "work out". then i had that whole mess where i got food poisoning, which i still believe was part punishment for hurting esther's feelings via my own ridiculousness. lesson learned, but that still doesn't change the fact that she doesn't really like talking to me. you've got to take life as it happens, and i don't hold it against her that she still holds it against me. that december, i knew i needed to move past it, and that's when i met cara.
november 2003: i was all torn up about the recent cara breakup, and i mean really. i had been all wrapped up in this romanticized fairy tale, and unwrapping that proved more painful that i would have thought. things weren't getting too much better into december, though, but if you'll permit me to count january everything got much better: i saw that yes, she still did care, and that it just wasn't going to work because of the way we live our lives. well, that realization came later. but i felt better at that time, so. that december was nuts, i had no real finals, and so i just bugged everyone else. had some dinner parties. oh, wait, i still remember that the first e-mail i ever got from nancy came on december 1st, so we'll say that december might have been good for that alone.
november 2004: stuff happened, but no real girl trouble this year. i didn't get a much-needed scholarship, i barely got my JET application done on time, i lost two grandparents, i didn't get anything done school-wise, and i procrastinated on a big work project. there's even more than that, too, but not appropriate material for this blog. message me or e-mail me if you're really that curious. december, well, is in progress. so far so good, though. since i don't have the distance of one or more years, i will refrain from detailing the highlights of this month -- time shall tell.
i might answer in response to the question "why do you blog" that now i can use my own primary sources to make a new secondary source about my own life. scholarly analysis of my life, yes, this is what happens when you are a full-time student who writes papers likes it's his job.
