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high school friends Monday May 31
i'm going to the city for the first time since i've been here to meet up with a friend from high school. haven't seen her in two years, and even then, it was only about an hour. we'll see how this goes (i.e., if we have anything left in common at all).
one of the keys to service work Sunday May 30
susana is one of my co-workers. she had finals this week, so i was scheduled for six out of the seven days. good: i have about one-third of my first month's rent paid -- even before i move in. bad: i haven't really gotten a chance to do anything yet. i tried to go get a library card at the flushing branch on thursday, but i was informed that i needed a piece of postmarked mail to prove that i am a resident of new york city.
a piece of postmarked mail is easily forged, and that's not really the point of this post anyway. i am having difficulty accepting that i "am a resident of new york city". i feel like a fraud, a phony, a kid from the suburbs who has dared to infiltrate the real city limits. i suppose it gets worse when people ask where i'm originally from (as my accent gives away my foreign-ness). do i say 'new jersey', the armpit of the east coast, my birthplace, and where my family spent much time....before i was born? or do i refer to 'near chicago', casting myself in a light of midwestern irrelevancy?
all of this came to head tonight when i was at work. my shift ended at seven, but i routinely stay afterwards to wait for tables to leave. if i do that, i can take my tip money on the spot, and i'm just kinda, i dunno. it's not that i don't trust other people. it's just that i don't trust other people. as much as i trust me. i digress.
there were four people from the hair salon across the street sitting at the bar, talking to me. and they liked me, genuinely. they called me 'all-american', rich referred to me as 'joe america', which is not the first time i've been called that. tyler from champaign also once referred to me in this way. but what's not to like about me? i'm honest, occasionally funny, i make great facial expressions, and i'm not ugly. i have a great smile, i laugh a lot, i'm sensitive and compassionate, and i am ambitious. i also have my share of faults, but this is my website. they will receive minimal treatment.
for whatever i may be though, i choose to show the best when i'm standing there at the counter. the service industry is just another performance space for me, much like the chair behind the microphone, much like the stage itself. much like this very web medium. a stage for me to perform, a stage for me to craft a personality based on what i perceive to be the best given the others around me. in that sense, fitting in is no problem: i can make up whatever i'd like to believe that they expect to hear.
so this foursome asked me where i was from. and all the usual bits followed. what did i study, why i am out here, etc. the key to answering these questions is adaptation. adapt the conversation to meet their expectations, but surprise them in little ways. never give up too much as to lose the whole jig. never give up what's really going on, because as soon as you reveal that you are not what they have already assumed you to be based on first impression, you become human. you become a person in their life, and not the two-dimensonal character they have created you to be. when i am tipped, i like to think that it is not based on the service. i'd like to think it's based on my performance.
so if i have adapted so well to this service job, why is it, then, that i cannot feel like i really belong in this city until i get that damn library card?
new site Friday May 28
i've been working on my not-so-secret relaunch since before finals ended, and here it is. basically, it's much easier to read now, and i brought back a lot of the old style that i had before i switched designs in october 2002. at almost a year and a half, it was time to adjust my look. i was locked in by the IFRAME, and i never should have thought of it in the first place.
eh, whatever. there was a time and place for it, and that was that.
there's a lot of new stuff still yet to be added to the new site, but i really needed to get the design out the door to make use of one of the larger things: the photo albums now work inside the context of the page, and you don't have to open a new window.
there's a lot more, too. but i'll let you play around.
jackson heights: home Wednesday May 26
my new home away from home: jackson heights, queens, new york city. tuesday afternoon, i put down first month's rent and a security deposit on a room in a 4-bedroom apartment just off of woodside avenue at 76th street (the center of this map is where i live, starting saturday).
overall, i think i looked at something like 12 places, and only one of them struck my fancy more than this one. and that one was, literally, more than double in rent. if the place that i realllly wanted but couldn't afford was boardwalk, then i'm staying at marvin gardens. and let me tell you, i always liked the yellow set. the greens were good too. boardwalk is so cliche.
i haven't met two of the roommates; apparently they keep to themselves. the guy i've been dealing with is gustavo, and he's 31, mexican. and i really like him. except for the fact that he works for sprint.
new haircut! Monday May 24
q: what do you get when you cross a english-speaking white guy with a chinese-speaking hair salon in flushing, new york?
new york apartments Saturday May 22
i came to new york to get some time away from school life. time to do things i want to do -- like play guitar, write, study japanese, make this website more than it is now, etc. yet, since i got here on wednesday, i haven't taken a single moment to stop and post about everything thus far. i've been far too busy apartment hunting. let's see, i've already seen ten different places in the past 3 days. that's a lot, given that each one requires an initial phone call or e-mail, followed by an arranged showing, which i have to take time to go to and find, followed by the eventual phone call where i tell them i'm not interested any longer because i found a better place.
problem is, the better place i've found is too rich for my blood. so instead of relenting, i'm searching for roommates. i would live slightly cramped in a nice apartment before i'd have all the room in a dull one. and that's where i think i am different than most people; it's a matter of finding someone who thinks the same.
let's see if i've got any stories yet. new york is great for stories. oh, this one will do. i met a guy today who works for nickelodeon. what a terrible job. but he deals with steve from blues clues, and so he was telling me about steve. apparently steve lives in williamsburg (where else, williamsburg is where the cool kids whose parents still support them live-, or where the hipsters are. or both.) and he has a band that is reasonably successful -- they've got major distribution on their latest record. who would have thought, from the guy who everyone said was dead a year ago?
in roscoe yet again Monday May 17
i'm on a pre-departure trip to roscoe. drop off boxes, wash clothes for free, eat pizza, chinese food, and fajitas, and play with the dogs. just the kind of psychological comfort i need before embarking on a new journey.
certainly, i already feel comfortable about new york city, but i am concerned about my ability to make money. i have all of the savings necessary, that, if i make $0 this summer, i can live and not go into bankruptcy. yet, then i would return to c-u in august with, uh, $0. as much as i like todd, i don't want to be what brett affectionately referred to as "todd-broke".
w00t.
getting better all the time Thursday May 13
listening to: the shins - young pilgrims
reading: the fine print on my new credit card
feeling: like everything's getting better
today, i have to write my last paper for school. it's not bad, though. a five to six pager on differences between china and japan. i could write it without a single reference, and i will probably do that, then go to the library and get some sources. point is, i'm taking a 100-level class after taking 300-levels, and i've gotten cocky about it.
so cocky, in fact, that i've taken most of today to sleep in, take care of my laptop, order a new cell phone, and get a new credit card. why, you ask?
- new cell phone
sprint's been getting on my nerves ever since they reset my contract without my approval. i got out of that, so that's fine, but i had to do a lot of talking, and i can't sneeze without it resetting my contract for a full year. forget that. also, t-mobile's going to offer me $15/mo cheaper for more minutes. and a 917 area code phone number. manhattan is so sexy. and the t-mobile woman and i talked for about an hour on the phone today. she's 23, lives in idaho, and has two children. she was really sweet, and we talked about her deadbeat ex-husband. - new credit card
i've been using a credit card for years that hasn't been earning me airline miles. i don't know why, so i've finally gotten around to applying for a new card. i'll be with american; while united has given me better service recently, american does two things i like: offers good deals to NYC from chicago, and is pushing new direct flights to osaka from chicago. that's good. - ibm has the best service
i called ibm on monday to report my malfunctioning laptop. tuesday morning there was a return box, postage paid, sitting in front of my door. wednesday morning my laptop was repaired in tennessee. thursday morning the laptop was sitting on my desk, all shipping fees free. and everything's included in my three year parts and labor warranty. ibm is, by all means, worth the extra expense when purchasing a laptop.
the reason i'm so stoked is because i am one day away from being done with school, and new york is starting to get real exciting. i realize now that even if i stayed in champaign this summer, i'd have a good time, but i'd probably waste my time chasing girls that aren't worth my time, and new york is all about not doing that: the focus is me. i'm taking my guitar, my kanji books, and probably a mandarin for beginners book. i'm thinking of getting private lessons too. oh, and i have to read the unbearable lightness of being, too. i've heard such good things about marquez to have never read him.
it's about girls, right?
texas hold'em Wednesday May 12
all-night texas hold'em at my apartment tonight (wednesday). it's going to be a lot of planet djs, but it doesn't matter who's playing. just come take their money. $10 buy-in with option for $20, if you're feeling sinister, and we'll divide up loot into first, second, and third place.
10:30pm. e-mail me if you need directions to my place.
byob and provide your own snacks, i'm just providing the apartment.
tuesday night coffee Tuesday May 11
tonight i blew up emotionally at laurel and naomi. there's never a good reason to blow up at anyone, but i don't have much of a temper. in fact, i'm usually cool headed to the extent that people push me about a little -- naomi for sure, this isn't to be doubted -- but also liz from foellinger (who has met me in a different time in my life and interacted with me in a totally different context than naomi) has said that i'm fun to poke fun at because i take it so well.
and i do.
in that sense, blowing up at people is a tool. certainly, emotion is emotion, i don't make a cognitive effort to explode, but when i do, i realize that since i never act that way, i have effectively conveyed that no, i wasn't joking. i was serious. it certainly comes with consequences; i'll go around tomorrow and say all the necessary apologies and so on, and i'll express that i really don't want this event to negatively affect our friendship. but -- the reason this event upset me is precisely that -- two of my close friend
the phone just rang, it was laurel, and everything's fine now. friends are great. we just needed to let off some steam. we all understand each other, and that's what was missing earlier.
left brained visual Monday May 10
i took this test, which i found on todd's site. without even realizing it, i definitely had a strong familiarity with left-brained, visual thinking. leslie, maybe that's why i need to work on listening?
Auditory : 25% Visual : 75% Left : 78% Right : 21% Mark, you are strongly left-hemisphere dominant and show somewhat of a preference for visual learning, a positive combination of styles.
Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that you are strongly organized, logical and detail-oriented. Visual preference indicates that you learn in an active, simultaneous multidimensional fashion.
With this pattern you would likely be good in fields such as engineering, architecture, drafting, computer graphics and the like. It is likely that you will find situations which demand auditory processing somewhat frustrating unless you can impose your own structures and categories while processing it.
Another possible barrier to using your talents to the fullest may be the excess attention that you can tend to give details in your day-to- day operations and learning. You can acknowledge the existence of "the bigger picture" but concentrate on the details and expect that the picture will emerge from the details themselves.
You strive towards goals and this, coupled with the active nature of your learning preference, creates a sense of you being "driven." Your tolerance of ambiguity is, at times, in conflict with your preference for the straight path and directness in everything. You tend to be as impatient with yourself as you are with others.
You have enough auditory learning capability to somewhat balance your more natural chaotic learning style. It is likely that you "slide into" the more sequential auditory learning mode when you get frustrated with the amount of input to be processed.
You are somewhat likely to be driven and distracted, but you have some capability for articulating and visualizing goals, which helps to reduce frustration. You can listen to others, but not without occasional agitation. There are times when your left hemisphere cannot categorize your learnings and place them in context, because that is the domain of the right hemisphere.
screw up Sunday May 9
don't fix what isn't broken.
my website software (movable type) had a glitch (caused by me and my errant database deletions, and therefore i upgraded versions in hopes of fixing it.
instead i rendered the whole system inoperable, and spent about an hour today resurrecting.
oops.
the planet barcrawl Thursday May 6
the planet had its barcrawl last week. everyone was there, but that's not saying much, given that i don't know anyone there anymore. certainly, that didn't stop lots of individuals from approaching me and saying, "hey! mark! what's up!" and such. luckily, marian, lindsay, and a couple other non-planet people were there, so i was playing the "i'm going to introduce my friend to find out your name" game. it's a beautiful social construct.
laurel got some great pictures; i forgot my camera at home. some results from the evening:
- stacy, a freshman in promo, somehow entered her number in my cell phone. of course i won't call her. i don't like blondes so much.
- kathy and i are setting up a poker night (hold 'em) at my place next week. when i mentioned this again to kathy yesterday, she didn't even remember talking to me. how sad.
- i paid back heather's friend jessica the five dollars i owed her. true, i was my last five, and i've spent a lot of money recently, but i hate owing people money. hate it.
the barcrawl t-shirts were baby blue and v-necks. how...metrosexual.
politically incorrect? Monday May 3
my role at foellinger Saturday May 1
listening to: jets to brazil - sweet avenue
reading: a japanese newspaper editorial for class
feeling: like me and my ideals share a lonely space
monika wanted to go to a country concert at assembly hall (ew) tonight, so she put me in charge of the concert at foellinger. there were eight other staff members there, all my peers, and i was running the show. certainly, i've been working there far longer than any of them, but it's always difficult when one day you're a coworker, and then the next day you're a boss. and then, you go back to coworker after that -- even worse.
i know i've reached a point there where i could manage more regularly; monika told me that if i was in champaign in the fall, i'd be doing just that: we're expanding our operations to include not just foellinger but also the lincoln hall theater. i suppose it's resume and job interview experience -- yes, i've managed large student groups -- but i'm still getting paid less than $7 per hour to do the work that monika is salaried for. fair? maybe not, but she's working in champaign, something i can't see for myself.
