Monthly Archives
Already : Hatachi Monthly Archives
the leap year day Sunday February 29
perspective is the angle from which we see a given set of circumstances. the circumstances are indeed fact, but since the facts can be interpreted from infinitely many perspectives, does any true reality for a larger-than-one subset of human beings actually exist? certainly, the role of spirituality and religion enters into play in the answer to that question, but in reference to an age of individualism, is there a point to anything?
i understand that asking the 'is there a point to anything' question is a dangerous one. i'm not a nihilist, but i do think that i, as many others also do, find it easy to get 'caught up' in circumstances. as a result, i award them value in my own life, and therefore focus on them further, increasing their relative importance. the same can be said of greek life and its consequences, the radio station, schoolwork, or any other presence in this town (or the world, if we're thinking globally) that i may, or may not, choose to make a part of my existence.
let's show what i mean by example, particularly because this is the example that led me to this post. we'll play the 'what's the point' game on THIS particular activity in my life.
what is the point in running a business? sample answers include:
- because money is necessary
- because i like web systems
- because it is good experience
- because i like the feeling of doing good work
now, i could stop at the first-order, but it gets more interesting to take the subset of the first and iterate:
why is money necessary?
- because i like to travel
- because i like to live comfortably
- because i am a consumer at some level
- because i have decided it is necessary to obtain certain goals
and so on. i'll spare the details of spelling out my mental reiteration of this task serially on this page. the net effect is that i question what i do on a daily basis based on my more long-term goals and wants, which makes me question what i value. in the end, it is our values that are most important to us.
the point is to say that i think that some things i was doing, and on some levels, things i still am doing, do not meet my values and goals. i do them solely because i am 'caught up' in them, and i have ascribed a fake value to them. the question is, beyond accepting that, do i have the self-awareness necessary to devalue them intellectually and emotionally? do i have the self-awareness necessary to change my perspective manually?
truly, we can convince ourselves of anything, but is it better to let our perspective shift as a function of the circumstances and people that we make a conscious effort to put ourselves around, or should our perspective be defined by our own interpretation of what it should be? truly, if we choose only one, we're going to end up blind, for alone we are close-minded, but as a group we are bound to think together.
as if the answer to everything, ben franklin reminds us that moderation is the key.
email Thursday February 26
after my last post, a lot of things i'd like to say sound trivial.
i finally switched over to cites express e-mail from the students cluster. years of dutiful service, and then they had to go and rip it out of my grasp less than a year before i graduate. cruel, cruel world. the lack of a telnet connection to my e-mail is really going to cramp my style.
last friday night Tuesday February 24
tonight, katy and i went to oakley's to study. we talked about sparta on the way home (the band, not the civilization), and then the car fell silent for no particular reason around lincoln & university.
at lincoln & green, katy started talking about the girl who died on campus over the weekend. i had been thinking about the exact same thing, but neither of us had mentioned it all night until that point.
if you're not aware, a sophomore was the victim of a hit-and-run accident on fourth and john last friday night, and she died later. i don't recall the details precisely, but the article is here. i realize that people die all the time, and that people who don't deserve to die die all the time. this woman, though, was killed by a vehicle, and the fact that that driver has failed to take responsibility for his or her actions saddens me.
i would take five years' jailtime for involuntary manslaughter before i would drive off. the guilt would never go away, but i feel that my social responsibility would be fulfilled. that's the least i could get. i would like to think that anyone with any humanity would have stopped, but she was found in the street.
i considered expounding upon this to talk about unjust death in general, but i'd rather not obscure this particular story, and i don't want to turn this into what "i think" about it. maybe that will be next.
please give her a moment for reflection. her name was nadia chowdhury.
nathan is 25 Monday February 23
i've been spending most waking minutes trying to finish up some changes on gorsvp, get the demo site ready for jj's station, and do homework in between.
i have to take a small break, though, to wish nate a happy 25th birthday. i'll spare you and him the sappiness. i will say, though, that my only hope as a future father of multiple children (if that happens) is that they can have the relationship that nathan and i do. i extend my thanks to the parents for setting that up right.
i've uploaded pictures my mom sent of nathan at various ages.
chance dog Monday February 16
puppy...on the air
after a great time with drew & naomi in chicago, i returned to champaign tonight to study for my morning psych exam. when i left espresso to go over to perkins to meet up with katy, guilt struck me. "you should go home and be with chance", my conscious begged.
but chance is now back in roscoe.
i already miss the puppy.
parallel parking Wednesday February 11
when i lived in new york city, i quickly learned the real rules of driving:
- expletives ease tension
the key to this is accepting that everyone is an autonomous entity. there are limited natural resources (lanes, parking spots, merging opportunities), and there are autonomous entities trying to take resources for themselves. expletives are the natural result of being outsmarted; if the offense were serious enough to cause an accident, you would be upset. however, since there is no accident, the net result is that they got what they wanted, and you didn't. so you curse at them. however, despite its off color, this often encodes a congratulatory message to the other driver nothing that you would have performed the same maneuver if you would have gotten to it first. - pedestrian right-of-way
pedestrians are obstacles in new york city, and they know it. therefore, they stay out of your way. signs on queens boulevard indicate that "multiple pedestrians have been killed trying to cross, so don't even try it here". - parking spaces
new york can drastically improve one's ability to parallel park. however, it also provokes a certain challenge, as drivers will convince themselves of their ability to squeeze into smaller and smaller spaces as they are more comfortable with their car. also, if it gives them the opportunity to bump up against a mercedes and set the alarm off, they'll do it. no one cares about car alarms anyway.
i returned to the midwest in 2002 joking that new york had made me a worse driver. in fact, i think i was a far better driver there, because i was always believing that someone was out to get the best of me/my spot/my lane. last night, though, i was parked outside of the espresso in urbana in one of these "you really shouldn't have been able to get in there" spaces.
when i came out to go home, i (may have*) love-tapped the car behind me twice. mind you, the force behind said love-taps were probably equal to my foot pressed up against the car pushing it backward. however, super-duper mister good samaritan good citizen didn't seem to find this action acceptable whatsoever. mr. samaritan was in a car waiting for my space, and instead of taking when i left, he proceeded to follow me quite closely as i drove home.
when i arrived home on nevada, he pulled up about twenty feet behind me. i pretended like he didn't exist because i was curious to see what he was going to do/say.
good citizen johnny: (calling from distance) hey, man. (MARK crosses DSR to driver's side window, calmly)
mark: can i help you?
johnny: you just hit that car twice while you were backing out of that space. that's a hit and run.
mark: (resisting urge to argue the principles of new york city driving) oh, did i? i didn't notice if i did.
johnny: (forcefully) you didn't notice hitting that car twice?
mark: well, if you say i did, maybe i did. i suppose you're suggesting that i go back there, then?
johnny: do whatever you want, i'm just saying...
mark:look, you followed me home to tell me i lovetapped a car that wasn't even yours. and now you're telling me to do whatever i want? don't think i'm stupid. i know you're calling the cops on your cell phone there, you've just decided that today, i'm the asshole, and you're going to do the world a favor and punish the asshole. you're such a rockstar.i'm going to go inside to put some things away, i'll stop by after that.
i went inside and called the police and asked for their advice in the situation. they suggested at least going back to the scene just to see if there indeed had been any damage. so i took chance out, ate a breakfast bar (swimming makes me hungry), and drove back to espresso. this is the point in the post where there would be a picture, but i don't like messing with police officers and their official business. so, i played it safe.
i parked behind two of the three urbana and campus police vehicles, cherries flashing, and rolled down my window to the approaching officer. after verifying my identity as the person in question, i got out of the vehicle to speak with her.
mark: (wryly, but just sincere enough not to arouse suspicion) i think i'm the person you're looking for.who are these people?
officer 1: (down to business-like, indicating the vehicle on the street) this is the car that you were parked in front of?
mark: yes.
officer 2: well, there doesn't appear to be any damage on this vehicle.
officer 1: is there any damage to your vehicle?
mark: (almost unable to hold in laughter, using that energy as a means of inspiration on what to say) i honestly have not checked.
officer 1: let's take a look.
(OFFICER 1, OFFICER 2, MARK cross behind vehicle. OFFICER 2 shines flashlight thoroughly around bumper.)
officer 2: (playing along) well, there doesn't appear to be any damage here either.
mark: (realizing that the cops are in on the game) should i get my insurance information?
officer 1: well, since there is no apparent damage to either vehicle, we will not need to fill out a report. however, we will take your name and address in the case that when this person comes to move their car, the bumper falls off or something.
mark: of course.
(MARK proceeds to give personal information.)
mark: is there anything else?
officer 1: no, that's all. if there's a problem, we'll contact you. be safe.
mark: thank you, i will.
(as MARK rides into the sunset, he looks at the other side of the street, where JOHNNY is giving his personal information to OFFICER 3. MARK smiles at him as he drives away.)
george Tuesday February 10
my dad. in his element.
you might not think this is funny unless you've met my dad. and even then, i make no guarantees. but nate will laugh.
busy
between class, work, and personal obligations, tuesday is just going to be too busy of a day to post. but i want to post, i've got a story about long distance, and a couple comments about the aftermath of my paper that i've previously mentioned.
score Saturday February 7
an e-mail i received from my bt&w professor today in regards to my submitted audience analysis homework. mind you, i wrote about the gymnast. thank you all for your votes.
Mark,Your audience analysis homework was excellently done. I'd like to post it (anonymously) as a student sample of great work. I try to post particularly good efforts, as well as those with clearly identifiable problems, to help students learn what they're striving for.
If you're willing to share your work, please email it to me so that I can post it on BlackBoard as an example a good audience analysis.
research Wednesday February 4
for my bt&w class, we were assigned an "audience analysis" of one of our classmates. my problem is that i don't know anyone else in the course, so i must pick at random. yet, to avoid picking someone who's difficult to research, i did some preliminary investigation on google, and i've got it narrowed down to the girl who likes cooking (who coincidentally stopped sitting next to me. i must have said something), the girl who came last in a high school gymnastics tournament (look for uneven bars), and the guy with this 1337 page as his domain namesake.
leave your choice in the comments, please.
also, it just occurred to me that my classmates themselves might be doing the same thing, in which case they could be reading this text. in that case, you could choose me, because this site will tell you anything you need to know if you read enough of it.
drew Tuesday February 3
if you're not one to look at the pictures on this website, now might be a good time to start.
diane
listening to: guster - keep it together
reading: lyrics
feeling: a little lost
and i don't say it but i know you knowthe few return so deep
and visits us in sleep
to define the you and i as weso we passed the time
and occupy our minds
and close our eyes and hope that we'll be fine
