i hate rockstars

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i hate rockstars Tuesday December 3

this is going to be a rant post, so watch out. there might be abusive language, sharp corners, and i might even make fun of your musical tastes (don't worry, i knew your taste sucked long before discussing it here).

i hate rockstars. but i don't just hate rockstars, i hate the people behind them. i hate the people that work day in and day out to create them, i hate the music industry, the big five, radio stations that accept money (called payola for those of you not in the industry) for playing shitty songs (which is most), and even you and me. that's right, i hate us, because we allow it all to happen.

"mark, what the hell are you talking about?"

i came to work today at two in the afternoon. at two-thirty i was on the side of the stage; clem and i were talking about the new sound gear he's trying to get budgeted for the auditorium. a few gentlemen walked in the back door, which was open for some load-in, and we knew they were the band. i used to talk about the benefits of being in touch with the aforementioned rockstars, but now i'm done.

the guy climbs up behind the drum technician, who is setting up a cymbal, and almost shoves him off of the platform. then, he fiddles with the drums for a bit, and only then do i notice he's got headphones in his ears. he looks like he's on something. one of the starcourse staff was stinking up the stage with a mcdonald's hamburger (that gets no link, on purpose), and he dived off the platform, swerved over towards us, swung himself on top of some road cases, and leered down at the guy before speaking.

"where did you get that?" he asked, as if mcdonald's was the missing link to his life-long search for eternal bliss. by this point, we've all figured out that he's not weird, and that yes, he is indeed under the influence of some mind-altering drug, presumably pot and/or coke. however, i can say presumably pcp if i want to, because that's the power that adverb gives me, so take my opinion for what it's worth; the fact of his insobriety remains unquestioned.

mouth full of hamburger, the guy didn't respond right away. but that doesn't matter. the rockstar wants a hamburger. somebody better go fuckin' get him one. clem, the starcourse production manager (and fellow foellinger employee), takes control: "yo, get a runner, get an order together for fast food."

this is what you get when you're a rockstar.

apparently, the vines are well-known already for causing problems, and they have a history of smashing guitars onstage during performances. i was talking to one of the guitar technicians, he was putting together two seperate guitars. one's neck had been broken, and the other had a broken body; he was making them into a new guitar.

at the show, during the last song (which was entitled fuck the world), the lead singer elected to hit things on stage with his guitar, knock over his amp, and then go after the drum set, knocking stuff over. the drummer got in on it, and proceeded to knock the lead singer's guitar tuner over. the lead singer also took a coke can (which we know had more than coke in it), and hit it with his guitar. it exploded everywhere.

downstairs, they were drunkenly playing the piano and singing. then they decided that that would be letting the janitors off too easily, so they proceeded to play cricket (austrailian band) with the broken guitar necks for paddles and oranges for balls. however, that wasn't enough, so they somehow managed to get the tomatoes, lettuce, and other foods from the hospitality table (including the peanut butter; the jelly, in a glass container, was spared) all over the floor of the hallway and dressing rooms.

truly, there's nothing more rockstar than that.

they left scratches in the stage. we'll call the carpenter tomorrow. he'll make an estimate, and we'll charge starcourse that much. they'll proceed to charge the tour that much. then, we'll also tack on the extra janitorial fees for the dressing room snafu.

the question is, why did all of this happen? who allowed it to happen? we were warned by the tour manager ahead of time that that's how this band acts, and he told us that the tour would pay all costs that the band incurred. they were enablers. fuckin' enablers. enabling the amateur rockstars to take over my stage.

and who's footing that bill to pay the janitor to clean the tomatoes? not the building i work for. starcourse is. of course, they'll bill the band. the band will bill the tour. and the label and/or mtv2 (who is sponsoring the tour) will eventually pay, as they've already budgeted for it, i'm sure. there is no way that a band on its debut album could ever get this kind of tour together themselves.

i don't even know if they act like that because they can get away with it, or if they act like that because no one has told them any better. it doesn't matter. the label wants all that press, as much as it get can get. it's trying to paint the picture of a hardass, raw, garage band of rockstars on the edge, and they need to live, breath, and smoke it everyday while they're on tour to make you feel it and experience when you go to their shows. it's not about the band. it's about the image. the image, however, is just one of many that the entertainment industry creates for our benefit, and bit by bit, we let them own us with these images.

who supports these rockstars? you do, i do, and everyone does. every time you turn on the radio and hear that same goddamn song. every time you watch that tv, because, yes, ladies and gentlemen, mtv isn't just mtv; it's owned by viacom, and if you want to talk about what viacom owns, well, shit, we might as well be talking about the whole entertainment industry. movies. tv. music. radio. everything. they own the content, they own the control of the future of music, and they most certainly own the media to access your consumer awareness that invokes your spending power.

and you spend $20 to watch a man smash a $250 instrument that i wished i could afford. we pay for the rockstars, because we've been sold into thinking that we want them. and in honor of this post, as well as a reward if you actually finished it, go ahead and listen to cake's rock and roll lifestyle.